Ammani had another of her reader-participation exercises here.
My story - a counterpoint to hers - is here :
“Yes, I have it, Flamenco Flamenco”, the older one wanted to scream, like Archimedes out of the bathtub. But of course he couldn’t. That would spoil everything. After all catching a mouse is hardly the ultimate in cool. Any idiot can do it. But how many of them know to enjoy their kill, get the most out of it. Cain and Abel, yes, that’s what we’re like, he mused. Look at him, the duffer, screwing up his face, trying so hard to get this simple word. The focal men shifted, moving around the bird. He can’t even get that. 3 minutes and 56 seconds, let me give him another four before I go in for the kill. He doesn’t have a job, his car is a laugh on wheels, and I know no girl is ever going to marry him. But at least he wasn’t foolish enough to get infected and become HIV positive.
The older one shouted, “Flamenco, you idiot, flamenco. However long you live, you are never going to be half as smart as me!”
4 comments:
very good..nice twist
Hmm...I like this one. I also heard recently about a competition to write a 55-word story. You know anything about that one?
I liked your version- saw it on ammani
BTW you have been tagged by me
Tks Chellam, Intrepid, Art; The 55-worder has been around for quite some time now - Sepia Mutiny had infact made it almost a weekly ritual for some time.
Art - boo hoo....what tags....
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